oh god ...

i wish i was 3 ..

when i could be pampared

like a small lil kid ..

going everywhere followed by parents ..

under the care and concern of them ..

not leaving me all alone

in the long path of an empty road ..

i would rather them nagging at me

on the way back home ..

than to be all alone

under the shades of the darkness ..

i could barely understand

why would they treat me like an adult

when im just a young teenager

like anyone else

i wish they could still follow me wherever i go

be there for me whenever i need them

even if i dont .

i felt all alone

in the middle of the night

cuddling my pillow

wondering when will they be back tonight

if we could still sit together

on the same sofa

breathing the same air

how wonderful could that be ..

but now

we are all in a different space

different atmosphere

though at the same time

i no longer felt the existance of you guys

there aint no love anymore in this family

going against each other

accusations and sorts ..

whats a family ?

to me

its none other than a roof that we live under

where everything that seems to have

but in fact

theres nothing at all ..

where love and concern aint no present under this roof of ours .

parents

were once someone who loved us the most

would anyone tell me

where did the love go ?

ive been staring at the screen

wondering all night

what have i done ?

to make us be in the states we are in right now

home

is just a place for me to sleep

a place for me to grow

grow without any love

just a sore gestures and slight politeness

whats more

return my childhood to me ..